Honest Parenting

How do I gain control back in my relationship?

We’re both 21 and we’ve been dating for 4 years.We have a lot of fun together. When times are good, they’re realllly good, but when we’re fight, things get real sticky.

I have this problem though, I’m afraid of him. I don’t know what specifically I’m afraid of, he’s never physically hurt me.

Like, I feel perhaps he has this mental control over me.

For instance, I told him I wanted to go to this event with my friends and he asked me not to go. I really wanted to go so my friends pep-talked me into telling him I was going, when I did I resorted to “You don’t control me, I can go if i want!” like such a teenager/parent relationship.

He gets angry a lot and yells a lot but has never physically hurt me. He’s made threatening movements like raised his hand or said he’s going to do something, but never actually has.

There were two times I actually stood up for myself. The first time he called me a ***** and I said “You can’t talk to me like that! get out, leave my house! You are not aloud to degrade me like that!” so he left and then I ended up calling him and begging for him to come back. Second time he was cursing me out because he was mad at the weather and I yelled back and I ended up getting left behind in a parking lot.

I don’t know what to do, how do I gain control back in my relationship?

Thanks all.

Why am I afraid of my boyfriend? How do I get control back? Advice please?

We’re both 21 and we’ve been dating for 4 years.We have a lot of fun together. When times are good, they’re realllly good, but when we’re fight, things get real sticky.

I have this problem though, I’m afraid of him. I don’t know what specifically I’m afraid of, he’s never physically hurt me.

Like, I feel perhaps he has this mental control over me.

For instance, I told him I wanted to go to this event with my friends and he asked me not to go. I really wanted to go so my friends pep-talked me into telling him I was going, when I did I resorted to “You don’t control me, I can go if i want!” like such a teenager/parent relationship.

He gets angry a lot and yells a lot but has never physically hurt me. He’s made threatening movements like raised his hand or said he’s going to do something, but never actually has.

There were two times I actually stood up for myself. The first time he called me a bitch and I said “You can’t talk to me like that! get out, leave my house! You are not aloud to degrade me like that!” so he left and then I ended up calling him and begging for him to come back. Second time he was cursing me out because he was mad at the weather and I yelled back and I ended up getting left behind in a parking lot.

I don’t know what to do, how do I gain control back in my relationship?

Thanks all.

Any non sexual activity ideas for the dating teenager? ?

(I apologize for the ridiculously long description, but please bare with me)

I’m currently dating this wonderful girl at the moment, and the thing is that the idea of sex is intruding. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a virgin, and she is too. But for the past few days, ( and months of desire ) we’ve finally discussed it, and after she talked to her sister in law about teenage pregnancy, we both decided to become celibate until we get married (which is most likely after high school and maybe two or 4 years of college). Seriously though, i do not, i repeat, DO NOT, want ANYTHING or ANYONE calling me a sissy and whoever does, screw you guys, i’m not listening to you. The problem is, is that this is day three, and it’s pretty hard already. We’re both in high school, but we both have to problem of thinking about sex and wanting it. We also both understand that we’re too young to have a kid, and with our sh*tty income, it’s well beyond our control. Her parents don’t know we’re dating, and would be infuriated to find out. To make her pregnant, is a completely unforgivable and absurd idea at this point. I care for her well being and i respect her parents. The main question is: What can we do with each other that doesn’t stimulate sexual intentions and how do we keep the idea of it away from our heads? It is difficult already when her parents don’t know about me, let alone the possibility of not approving me. She doesn’t want me to take the city bus either, so that idea is out. The only seemingly possible and safest way is to have her brother take us out, but even so, they have lives too. Any suggestions? FYI, we are not above the age of 18 and she is two years younger than me. Also, I request that none of you bash on me for asking such a question at my age. Keep in mind that there are probably other teenagers in my situation and that i choose to be the martyr of this and many other ordeals for my, our, and their benefits with no regrets.
I love her too much to want to jeopardize her health and well-being, but at the same time, i want to express to her that i still do and still am interested in being with her.
to Idiotman: I AM 16. but thanks anyways man.

Do controlling and overbearing parents even realize that they’re damaging their kids?

I’m 15 and I’m not allowed to wear makeup. I can’t straighten my hair, get my hair cut at a salon, wear nail polish, shave my arms/legs, or get my eyebrows waxed. I’m not allowed to hang out with my friends outside of school or during the summer and I’m certainly not allowed to talk about boys let alone be friends with them. I’m not allowed to get a boyfriend until I’m 25 or drive until I’m 30. I’m not allowed to go to any parties or read books that are not approved by my parents first. I can’t play video games or talk to anybody but my parents on the phone.
These rules are set by my mom, who’s a very intimidating and controlling person. My dad lets her control me because he’s too scared of her to stand up for me.

I’m expected to come home right afterschool or until the club meetings I go to are over. My mom calls me every 15 minutes to make sure I don’t secretly go to a friend’s house and have fun. She wants me to come home immediately after school lets out. On weekdays, I’m either at home or in school. When I come home from school, my mom usually sits me down and instructs me to do my homework while she watches over me. I’m not allowed to listen to music, relax, or go on Facebook until my homework’s all done.
I tell my mom that she doesn’t need to make sure that I’m doing my homework. I finish all of my homework and get great grades even without her supervision (I go to a very good high school and I’m in the top 2% of my class).

Honestly, the only thing that keeps me sane is the fact that I’ll turn 18 in three years. My mom says that when I go to college, she will move into an apartment near where I live. She also says that when I graduate from college and have a job, she’ll try her hardest to rent a home near mine. I’m pretty sure she won’t be able to do any of these things. Once I’m 18, I’ll be able to hang out with my friends outside of school and do whatever I want. My mom makes my life more stressful than it really should be. She doesn’t realize that I should be allowed to have a little bit more freedom now that I’m a teenager. I get invitations to parties all the time but can never go to any.

My mom is impervious to the fact that she’s making me anxious and trapped by controlling every aspect of my life. Why do some controlling parents not even realize that what they’re doing is emotionally damaging their kids?

Over-controlling parents?

I’m almost 18 and getting ready to move out and go to college, my parents still feel the need to control everything i do. they have even gone so far as to track me through my cell phone’s GPS when i leave the house. When i want to go hangout at a friends house they have to talk to the parents and make sure they’re going to be home. I used to be close to my parents but i grew up and they didnt im still often treated like a child, im an independent person i dont rely on them for much, like any other teenager i enjoy being in my room when im home they see it as a sign im ignoring them. are they freaking out cuz im leaving soon or are they just over-controlling? please help because im thinking about moving a thousand miles away just to free myself of them..