Your Questions About Foster Care Facts
Betty asks…
I was in foster care the first 4 months of my life. I’m thinking about searching for my foster parents at 28.
I was adopted as a baby. But I was in foster care for 4 months before my parents could bring me home. I’ve met both birth parents and their respective families, become close with them briefly, and then had a falling out of sorts. Over the last few years (even before I lost contact with my birth family), I became really curious about my foster parents. I’ve thought about them before, but it wasn’t until this last year that I just can’t seem to let go of the fact that there was another set of parents out there who took care of me before I came home. I’m not looking to fill the void in the loss of contact with my birthfamily – as there isn’t a void. Sadness, yes. But I am finding peace in that situation. But I’m always wondering about whether they’d even remember me anymore? Do they love me? Did they? Or what someone else’s experience has been with this. Whether you’re a foster parent, met your foster parents, or if anyone out there may be feeling similar things? I’m curious mainly…
admin answers:
I am a foster parent. I have only been doing it for a short time, but I have loved every single child that has stayed in my home. I think about them often after they go home. At this point, I have fostered 8 children. I would be honored if years from now one of them felt that I was important enough to contact! Some of the children we have been able to keep in contact with because their mother wanted what was best for them and she felt it was best to let us be a small part of thier lives. I am thankful for that every we visit with them!
I would at least look into it and see if you could even find out who they were. Best of luck to you!
Donald asks…
PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN THROUGH FOSTER CARE… NEED ANSWERS! thank you!?
So hello, I am pretty positive after much thinking that I need to call CPS. The situation is complicated but the abuse and neglect is severe, when I mean that I mean VERY severe, of course I could go on for an hour talking you all what exactly has happened over the last 14 years but if I did you all would say I was trolling and not answer my question. Before I email my family (uncle and cousin) I need to know what will the following days be like? if I send it tonight asking them to call when will CPS show up (assuming they will call in the morning)? also I know they will do an investigation, does that mean they will question my brothers and I? I know for a fact I will be put into the care of the state as soon as they know what has been going on without a doubt, when that happens what will happen to me? (I have no blood relatives near by, out of state) so does that mean I will be put in to a foster home until they are done pressing charges and investigating? if I live in a small town and there are no foster homes obtainable will they take me to the nearest town that has foster homes or will they take me to a children’s home (if that’s what it is called)?
LAST THING, when they take me away what stuff can I bring with me? (clothes, makeup, shoes?) like will they provide me with clothes or do I bring my own with me???
admin answers:
Before you call them, make sure that you Ask your nice and caring other family members if there is anyway you can stay with them..because once you’re in the government foster care system, you are stuck there. Till you are 18. And you might not like it at all.
I’m not trying to scare you.. But I know a few people who were abused in their foster homes. I know girls who were raped. I know people who were hit. I know people who were raped BY their foster brothers or sisters. And I know foster parents who were jerks who just wanted money and brought in so many kids and barely took care of them.
If you choose to go down this path, you will have to look out for yourself. It’s a hard road. My mom was serverly abused in her home so she was in foster care. Her parents were awful (foster parents) but she liked her foster siblings. I think it was a good bonding experience for a short while. When she was 18 her foster parents kicked her out. On her exact birthday. Nice,huh?
Anyways, I am not trying to discourage you from doing this, I am just saying the reality is foster care is not a nice thing to be placed under. Check all your other options first. How old are you? Try emancipation if you’re 16 or older. Cause you can’t really get emancipated once you’re 18. You’re stuck in foster care.
Good luck. You sound REALLY brave and strong. I hope everything goes okay with you.
As for your techincal questions- i cannot help you. Ive never been put in foster care or dealt with cps. I would imagine you can bring all your personal items though.. Especially clothes makeup and shoes.. And if you didnt have many clothes im sure they’d provide you with some.
GOOD LUCK. Stay safe. God bless you.
-I’d like to add in, that depending on what your situation is at home, you might really benefit from leaving, so im really not trying to discourage you, i just dont know what life is like where you’re at now-
Jenny asks…
PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN THROUGH FOSTER CARE… NEED ANSWERS!?
so hello, I am pretty positive after much thinking that I need to call CPS. The situation is complicated but the abuse and neglect is severe, when I mean that I mean VERY severe, of course I could go on for an hour talking you all what exactly has happened over the last 14 years but if I did you all would say I was trolling and not answer my question. Before I email my family (uncle and cousin) I need to know what will the following days be like? if I send it tonight asking them to call when will CPS show up (assuming they will call in the morning)? also I know they will do an investigation, does that mean they will question my brothers and I? I know for a fact I will be put into the care of the state as soon as they know what has been going on without a doubt, when that happens what will happen to me? (I have no blood relatives near by, out of state) so does that mean I will be put in to a foster home until they are done pressing charges and investigating? if I live in a small town and there are no foster homes obtainable will they take me to the nearest town that has foster homes or will they take me to a children’s home (if that’s what it is called)?
LAST THING, when they take me away what stuff can I bring with me? (clothes, makeup, shoes?) like will they provide me with clothes or do I bring my own with me?
admin answers:
CALL 911 OR CPS NOW!!!! IM SERIOUS.
As I have had personal experience in a situation like this, depending on how bad your situation is you will either be taken immediately without pause, (like me) or you will be given 15 minutes to gather Your things. I don’t know if it will go like that exactly, but that’s how it went for me.
You will also be first taken to an agency and then they will sort out the ownership problem. They may not want you living near where you are now. They moved me to a whole new country. (England to America)
It is up to you if you want to go to a foster home, but i recommend you go to a children’s home. Foster homes are depressing to leave. I got really attached to my foster parents. Leaving was difficult.
Hope that helped.
Good Luck.
Linda asks…
How can my friend go into foster care or some better home situation? HELP!!?
My friend is in a really difficult situation at home and I’m afraid if it continues then she might try and kill herself or do something stupid.
She has no extended family she could stay with so that’s not an option.
Here is some background on her situation:
-She is originally from Kansas where she lived with her mother, an alcoholic. Her life there was horrible and she doesn’t like to talk about it much, I know she witnessed and possibly sustained abuse, etc.
-She’s recently (about a year ago) moved to Washington state with her father, stepmother, and baby sister, although she has lived with her father for about 4-5 years now
-Her father possibly suffers from bipolar disorder, is emotionally abusive, and often fights with his wife. They have very little income and many economic troubles.
-Both of her parents (that she lives with) has expressed their disgust with her as a person, despite the fact that she is the most responsible, caring, smart, etc person I know.
-She is constantly grounded and not allowed to see friends, even on her birthday. (For random little things, like she called and got permission to go to a friend’s house but her Stepmom drove over, picked her up, and screamed at her, even though she already gave her permission.)
-She has to share a bedroom with her baby sister that she also has to take complete care of.
Is this a bad enough situation to get into foster care? How can she do so in Washington state? Is there any other option?
My friend has been beaten down by abusive/just plain bad home situations, and she is submissive, depressed and suffering from Bipolar disorder/PTSD.
All she needs is a loving and nurturing home and I have NO doubt she could become an amazing person, she gets straight A’s and is very smart. However, lately she has been sliding towards things like drugs, drinking, etc, that she deems ‘normal teenage things’.
PLEASE HELP MY FRIEND!! She’s just turned 15 by the way.
also she says she’s really worried about her dad hitting her and it sounds like the home is deteriorating quickly &i wouldn’t be surprised if something didn’t happen.
She says she doesn’t want to leave her baby sister behind though, she needs to stay and take care of her =[
admin answers:
Report it to a school councilor so she can refer her to a social worker and possibly help her home life in some way
John asks…
my first week in foster care?
its my first week in foster care and im not really getting along with any of the other guys…. in fact ive gotten into 2 fist fights and im tired of it…. the only reason theyre doin this is cuz im a runaway and they wanna see how long it takes me to runaway from this problem…. i really wanna runaway too but im not cuz my parents would hate me even more then they do now…. wat should i do????
admin answers:
Talk to someone–an adult there, or a counselor.
Don’t run away from this. Running away doesn’t solve your problems, it just creates room for bigger ones.
I think you should ask those guys what their problem is when they start hassling you. I think after a while, they’ll leave you alone.
Most of all, I think you should turn to God with this problem, ask him for help and guidance, and truly believe he will take care of it, and he will.
Wish you the best.
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